Easy Street

Red and white pills,
Right there in my hand.
Wondering if I will live on, or bring myself to and end.
How these small little friends,
Wound up in my palm I will never know.
They taunt me with fear waiting upon my next action to show.

The reasons are simple but eventually they add up.
You would never know this at first glance,
But the real me behind the mask has been waiting for this chance:

Between the mother who can't get a job,
And the ice clanking in the glass,
The booze doesn't drown these haunting memories from the past.

The dad who yells and hollers,
Each curse can be heard through the walls clear as day.
These torments never cease especially when there's nothing left to say.

All we want is mommy's love and daddy's sweet hugs
Is that too much to ask of you?
It must be because now I have the bruises on my face turning blue.

I look down at the white and red tablets,
And think about how simple leaving this world would be,
Then I remember quickly that my family doesn't live on Easy Street.

I rather reside on Happy Avenue,
Where all the rich ladies play checkers and their men smoke big cigars,
But the damn bus won't take me to that side of town, the ride is too far.

I've learned this mantra well: Life is hard in every single way.
Getting through it alive is a gamble each of us must take,
Though the dice are loaded and the cards are stacked.

Looking in the mirror I examine my plain and broken flesh,
My mind cracks and I feel the tears stain my cheeks,
"No one will miss me", to myself do I think.

Alone right here on the edge of my bed I've planned my strategy.
A last deep breath and faint, uttered cry,
I would swallow these pills, go to sleep, and say goodbye.

The clock tells me 10:33.

The time has come there is no more to waste,
If I do it now there won't be a scream to make,
I look back down at the red and white medicine...

Asking myself one last time if this is what I want;
I throw them away and put on my jacket with ease,
Because I want to keep on living, on my Easy Street.