My Own.

This room is my haven from all those
Around that strive to cause the pain.
I shed one tear that stings my cheek.
But it is one of many,
That you’ll never see.

Right now I am the child and
I bear the anger on my skin.
Got to be strong, won’t give in just yet.
Though I have fear it looks me in the eye.
Defeat is not here tonight.

You would think the walls are screaming,
But the sounds eventually fade because
That world melts away as we quietly play.
STOP.

There it is: the stomps, slams, yells, curses,
And slaps are all too familiar.
Then she looks and asks, “Have I been bad?”
Blaming herself again, I respond, “Mommy’s just mad.”
Her head so low, she sheds that tear.
The same one I comfort to sleep,
Only wishing her the sweetest dreams.

The sun rises and gleams the pane
Into my eye and illuminates the panorama
Of this miserable life.

Then from deep inside I hear a growl.
I mistake my stomach for my soul,
And then go to the kitchen,
Wondering with what,
I will fill my bowl.

Not Much. Cottage cheese and some Oreos,
Is all our lonely pantry has to offer.
I walk around the glass shattered on this floor.
Wondering how the argument went the night before.

This house is too quiet, why?
Oh, he isn’t up yet.
Better find her so she doesn’t make a noise.
Then my feet leave the ground and I for once am feeling safe.

Smile so warm, arms so wide.
I can fit my heart inside those eyes.
That look over what imperfections we have.

Sitting on his right, with her on his left,
We watch the glass that shows us the problems out there,
That I believe are here too.

Then I let out, “Have we been bad?”
His calm words out, “No angel, Daddy’s just sad.”
He gets up, goes to the jar, takes a few coins.
And we take a walk down our way.

The change makes it’s fairwells as it falls into the vendor’s palm.
There’s a bench we take our seats upon, and my sneakers kiss the sidewalk,
My small hands brush the greasy strands of hair from my eyes.

Simple happiness.
It is what we live for, what we can afford.
All we intimately call our own, and not even Mommy…
Can throw that away.